The 10 Films From 2012 You Should Not Watch With Your Family Under Any Circumstances
Rated NP for No Parents because of a curious obsession with imaginative descriptions of female parts, and extended awkward trying-to-have-sex-and-failing scenes. (This will become a theme in this list.)
Good luck trying to get through this one without pausing every sixty seconds for a Q&A session about exactly what is going on. If you accept the challenge, go ahead and write "I don't know, let's watch the movie and find out!" on a piece of paper to hold up instead.
Childhood memories: ruined forever.
The strip club bathroom scene is more than enough for a spot on this list. But Kirsten Dunst's (also bathroom) sex scene seals the deal.
See entry #8, Cabin in the Woods.
5. Magic Mike
Because, you know, the entire premise of the film, plus the possibility that your mom or grandma might say something about Channing Tatum's hotness out loud.
Paul Rudd's psyching-himself-up-for-sex mirror moment may be one of the funniest scenes ever put to film, but it's not for extended family consumption. (But for real: the above is one of the funniest scenes of all time. Use headphones.)
3. The Sessions
It may be on a lot of Best-of-the-year lists, but for these purposes The Sessions is like an awkward silence generator. But you probably knew that, because, you know, the entire premise of the film.
Possibly the first mainstream comedy in history that could feasibly be too gross for a fifteen-year-old boy. Resist the impulse to think the R rating is for language and nudity - this movie crosses lines that probably have never occurred to you and aren't in the trailer. This entire list was inspired by this movie. Beware! "Accidentally" break the DVD in half if you have to!
1. Hope Springs
Because the only thing worse than watching a sex movie with your parents is watching a sex movie with your parents that hits close to home.